What Matters

As March spins itself into April’s web, I remember my “Gram” and feel connected to the wisdom she bestowed upon me.  Not only through heart to heart chats we shared on her doily-laden sofa, but in her daily rituals she infused with such joie de vivre well into her 90th year where she graduated into her nouveau journey of living well.

According to the CDC, women are two thirds more likely to be depressed than men.  It’s no wonder as our gentle sex has been incessantly bombarded to appear more submissive, younger yet wiser, do more while making a six-figure income alone and raising a brood that can fit nicely into any Pinterest event wearing Cheshire cat smiles.  Women both single and attached, report feeling lonelier than ever though they are surrounded by a surplus population that never before existed on our planet.

So in honor of her birth month, I would like to bestow some of Gram’s pearls you can’t possibly toss aside because above all else and come what may, she always got to the heart of what truly mattered.

1.     It’s not all about you.  I remembered pouring out why I felt victimized by this person or that situation, and she calmly told me the anger and indifference I experienced had nothing to do with me, and more about that person’s own wounds they had to own and lick.

2.     Love them anyway; Time heals.   Though I rarely heard Gram find fault in another or scold another’s behavior, when she had to encounter difficult folk-she found joy with people who were not always joyful.  This is truly a life’s work.

3.     Nurture your relationships and find your tribe.  Even when it was trying for her arthritic bowed ankles to walk her to her car, let alone drive the 20+ minutes to my home, she looked tired yet satisfied with herself at finding the strength to push herself up the four steps and into our door for an impromptu afternoon visit that always involved something sweet. 

Gram took it upon herself to find the time and effort to love her family and friends, even when she had every excuse to stay put in the comfort of her recliner.  Find people you would walk up flights of stairs to spend time with, ones who boost you up and remind yourself of why you should make that phone call, buy those shoes and eat that piece of cake.

I invite you to nurture your own passions to fill up that depressive void we all tend to fall victim to, and visit Soul Sanctuary’s Happenings this year to get to the heart of what matters to you-You’re worth it and you matter!



Rhonda Bartholomew