Ask and It Is Given
On an unremarkable night at the office last week I felt miserable. Depending on my coworkers who share my schedule, the music genre selected before my arrival varies according to taste and I give myself kudos for being a team player-one who is accessible in all social and professional circles. With my back to the blaring speaker I tried unsuccessfully to become one with my protective cubby. Perhaps it seemed unrelenting because this music simply irritated me. Whatever the case I felt at a loss to act due to circumstances that occured earlier in the month. The week beforehand I turned the speaker off mid-song. That's right, without a remotely conscious thought of what I was doing I succinctly shut off the speaker before arriving at my desk for my shift. The action left the office in an immediate hush before I realized how my actions garnered their attention. This rap song swore while taking delight in taking lives and I instantly shut it off as if someone ordered me to. I suppose that someone was simply me. My co-worker whose playlist was muted mumbled aloud..."You could have waited until the song was over." I replied, "I don't have to listen to that." My supervisor piped in, "That's right, none of us do," which later left me wondering why she didn't make the move herself. How many times in our lives do we settle into a moment to sustain peace that creates another sort of agitation in our own corner?
So back to my unremarkable night; though the speaker wasn't screaming expletives, it left me feeling off just the same. I put my hands together, and prayed silently, "Dear God, I need your help. I'm not ready to wear the badge of the music nazi here yet I just want to feel at peace tonight. Thank you." About an hour later I got up for break and returned to the same music yet someone came by and lowered the volume. The next day I arrived while the music was being changed. Suddenly another coworker kiddie corner from me actually stood up and said, "Hey, let Rhonda pick the station as she never has before." I was completely stunned as that hasn't happened in the entire two years of my employment. So my choice was Christmas tunes, and though you can't please everyone, the air seemed buoyant, and a little calmer.
"Do you not see that all your misery comes from the strange belief that you are powerless? Helplessness is sin's condition; the one requirement that it demands to be believed." A Course in Miracles.
Wish me well as I'm leaving for another night in cubby land, though I don't think I'll need it this time. I've got someone in my corner!